Updating to never version of PHP fixed mine just like conorseed.
Somehow I was on PHP 5.2 but it is was 5.2.17 (minimum is 5.2.24)
Changed my settings to 5.5 and I'm up and running again.
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tampagreg813 on "WP 3.9.2 update + 500 Internal / 404 Page"
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