Deactivated my most resource hungry plugin (jetpack) but you know what, the site is still acting weird and I have a feeling I need to roll back to the prior version of wordpress. Is there any plugin that was refresh/check the database (clean it up). I backed up before I upgraded so I might have to roll it back sooner than later - instead of trying to add to the site as its becoming shaky.
now when its idly: the baseline mem usuage is:
Virtual Memory Usage 233.3 / 1024 MB
Physical Memory Usage 200.5 / 1024 MB
Entry Processes 5 / 20
I/O Usage 0 / 1 MB/s
its about 25% when it used to drop to neglible values before.